'OUR STORY

As I write these words, it is June 1st, again, her twentieth birthday, and the second one that she has been gone from everyone’s lives who ever loved her. I had a vivid dream about her last night, as I do frequently. I arrived at a campground and she was there waiting for me. We talked everything out. We hugged. She made plans to come home. Then, as I always do, I woke up.

 

When did this whole Arwen Crisis start? I date it back to when her father passed away just after the pandemic. That period of time was hard on everyone, and then to lose her father was awful. 

 

He left her money. Not grand heiress kind of money, but enough to start her adult life comfortably. 

We were all celebrating her prom, her graduation, her 18th birthday. Prior to her turning 18, I noticed she was online a lot, in her room, up very late, and she seemed to be talking to a specific group or individual most of the time. She told me she had been made a moderator on the gaming platform Discord. I didn’t know much about it, but she seemed to be finding it amusing and she was about to go away to her number one choice of colleges that she got into, and we were all pretty happy. She and I had even taken a mother-daughter road trip through New England, starting with UVM, to scope out dorms and attend an admitted Student weekend. Then we wound down through New Hampshire to Boston, where my sister and Arwen’s cousin met up with us for a few days of sightseeing.

 

Things that I still obsess over; she went to senior prom and sent me pictures taken of her with her friends from all stages of her life, some of whom I’ve known since they were very little. A soccer player since she was five, and on varsity at her high school since Freshman year, she also played club soccer outside of school, and she joyfully played in – and won – her final tournament. She was going to hang up her cleats after that, and focus on other pursuits in college. My friends referred to us as the Gilmore Girls. We were close. We were besties.

 

She turned 18 June first. I noticed she was on the phone talking to the same people, more frequently, though she hadn’t spoken to anyone while we were away. They were now in in Instagram group of four people, Arwen, two young women and a man. I asked about them. She said the girls were 19 and 21, and the boy was 19. The group was a bible study group. We never raised her with religion, and I knew she was curious about all theology, so I thought this was an extension of that hobby.

 

Then one day I overheard the boy telling her he wasn’t getting anything out of the group anymore, and planned to leave. She was very upset, took the call outside, and I heard her asking him to at least keep communicating with her. I still brushed this all off because so soon, so soon, she would be safe in college. A few weeks later she was gone. We learned that the “boy” was a 34 year old man. 

 

She cut everyone off, including friends, family, beloved cousins, her mother, her aunt who helped me raise her. I tried texting her and her replies were very clearly not written by her. Then her number was changed.

 

There are many, many more details to this horrific tale, but the end point is simply no one from her former life has heard from her – not a word. She has gone dark. June 25th will be two years to the day.

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